(c) 2017 by Paulo H Leocadio. All rights reserved

 

DESIGN OF AN ANTI-GRAVITY DEVICE:
THE FOUNDATION OF FUTURE INTERPLANETARY TRAVEL

 

BY

PAULO H LEOCADIO

DISSERTATION

Submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements
for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Fantasy and Occultism
in the Graduate College of the
University of Coruscant at the Fobosi District, Cosuscant

 

Fobosi District, Coruscant

 

 

Abstract

Gravity stands as the first and most formidable barrier to exploring beyond the confines of our planet. Traditional approaches to overcoming this force have involved large, fuel-consuming rockets. However, I propose that a more efficient method is at hand—one that will not only challenge gravity but also lay the groundwork for groundbreaking advancements in terrestrial motion.

In this dissertation, I present a solution that challenges gravity, not through traditional propulsion methods, but by focusing on two universally known and infallible phenomena that affect our everyday lives:

1. Corollary 1: Cats always land on their legs when falling from any height.
2. Corollary 2: When dropped, a slice of buttered bread always falls with the buttered side down.

By leveraging these principles, I argue that we can develop an anti-gravity device that not only works on Earth but could potentially serve as the foundational technology for transporting resources and travelers without the need for rockets or overly complex mechanisms.

Acknowledgements

For their endless support, patience, and guidance in inspiring such a radically absurd but entirely theoretical piece of work, I thank the great Emperor Palpatine, whose unwavering commitment to the Empire’s efficiency values is unparalleled. Without the Emperor’s vision, none of this would have been possible. Also, thank you to every cat who contributed to this hypothesis through their inherently graceful landings.

Introduction: The Infallible Law of Gravity… and Cats

The pursuit of anti-gravity technology cannot overlook that the simplest things in life provide the most profound insights. Every day, we observe the reality of Corollary 1 and Corollary 2. Yet, they have been unjustly dismissed by mainstream physics, ignored by rocket scientists, and mocked by those who prefer the notion of rocket fuel over the potential of a cat and a buttered slice of bread. Let’s begin by revisiting these undeniable facts:

1. Cats Always Land on Their Legs: When a cat falls, it instinctively rights itself and lands effortlessly on its four paws. This is not a trivial observation—it is a testament to balance, an intrinsic principle that transcends simple animal behavior and points to a much deeper concept in physics. By applying the principles behind this feline mastery of equilibrium, we can hypothesize that if a mechanism could harness this innate property, it could achieve balance and float, ultimately defying gravity. It’s not about a cat defying gravity, but rather about its uncanny ability to “create” a point of balance within the forces at play.
2. The Buttered Side Down: Likewise, the perpetual tragedy of buttered bread always falling face down has plagued humanity for generations. While it might seem like a mundane accident, this predictable occurrence reveals an untapped innovation potential. If we examine the trajectory of a falling buttered bread slice, it becomes apparent that its consistent behavior could form the foundation of a gravity-defying device. What if the bread could always land “up,” simply by overcoming the natural pull of gravity? This enigma presents the perfect challenge for engineering a solution that may prove the possibility of a gravity-defying system.
3. The Gravity Problem Revisited: While these observations are rooted in the realm of everyday life, they inadvertently challenge the very foundations of classical physics. In classical mechanics, gravity is often described as a universal force that acts upon objects with mass. But modern physics, as illustrated in Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity, proposes that gravity is not a force at all—it is the result of the curvature (or “distortion”) of space-time caused by massive objects. When you’re standing still on Earth, the space around you is being curved, guiding you toward the planet’s surface. This isn’t just a quaint image—it’s the very nature of gravity as we understand it today (see Einstein’s work on space-time, or Higgs for more detailed exploration).

Here’s an intriguing thought: Imagine a person in free fall. Whether from a skyscraper or floating in space, their experience is essentially the same. In free fall, both scenarios are subject to the exact same principles. The psychological perception is that they’re falling toward the ground, but according to Einstein’s theory, it’s not the person who’s moving. Instead, Earth is “growing” at the speed of light toward the person, drawing them into its curvature.

By exploring these ideas more abstractly, we see that anti-gravity isn’t necessarily about “escaping” gravity’s influence—it’s about controlling and manipulating the geometry of space-time itself. This concept will serve as a bedrock for exploring the mechanics of defying gravity with nothing more than everyday phenomena like cats and buttered bread.

Methodology: Cat + Butter = Anti-Gravity Device

By synthesizing these two universally established principles, we are left with a design that, while simple, is poised to reshape our understanding of gravity and motion. Forget rockets, expensive engines, and complex space programs. The future of interplanetary travel—or simply getting around without the force of gravity weighing us down—may very well rest on the unassuming partnership of a cat and a slice of buttered bread.

Conclusion: The Future is Infallible… and Filled with Cats

By synthesizing these two universally established principles, we are left with a design that, while simple, is poised to reshape our understanding of gravity and motion. Forget rockets, expensive engines, and complex space programs. The future of interplanetary travel—or simply getting around without the force of gravity weighing us down—may very well rest on the unassuming partnership of a cat and a slice of buttered bread.

And so, the journey begins—not into space, but into the absurdity of our own assumptions about physics. I present this anti-gravity device as a concept, one that has been overlooked for far too long but now shines in its simplicity.